I have often wondered whether Lil' Bit has learned the lessons I intended her to from our punishments/consequences. From this morning's actions, it appears Lil' Bit learned an entirely different lesson than I thought from yesterday. We woke up this morning and she was all sunshines and rainbows. She pops off to the bathroom (she was dry all night!!), and while she's going potty she says, "Mommy, what day is it?"
"Tuesday."
"What does that mean?"
"Another day-care day."
The words were no sooner out of my mouth than she flung her legs to kick off both pajama pants and pull-up in my direction. She stretches her legs wide, pushes herself backwards again the toilet seat, and grabs hold of it, giving me a look that says, "I dare you to take me off here" and "Let's see you put this in the car" all at the same time.
My first thought was, "Oh goodie. Another stand-off."
My second thought was, "Well, at least she learned something from yesterday's encounter."
My third thought was, "Hey. Maybe I did too!" Rather than escalate the situation and demand answers from her, I tried something different.
I began by says, "It looks like that made you really upset. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Silence and glares. "Well, if you decide you want to talk about it, let me know." Silence. "Would you like to put your pull-up back on? I see it's still dry. Way to go!" Silence and glares. "Ok. Well, when you're done, you let me know." And I left. I went to my bedroom and began going through my closet to look for something to wear. I would occasionally hear noises from the bathroom--flushing; washing hands; pulling the shower curtain. After 10 minutes, she shows up in my doorway wearing the pull-up and pajamas.
Score one for me! I said inside my head. Outloud, I asked, "Are you ready for breakfast?" We went to the kitchen, got her her "hero cookie" for going potty, and settled in for some Bubble Guppies. I asked her what she wanted to wear, and she told me. I got the clothes for her, along with her breakfast. I brought her meds and she took them without blinking. I am so awesome, I thought to myself. Ooops! Never a good idea.
When it came time to leave, I waited for a good stopping point and paused the DVD. Cue BIG FRUMP.
"Time to go."
"But I want to watch it."
I was willing to negotiate and let her finish the episode, so I asked "Will you be ready to go when it's over?"
*shakes head no*
Well, no reason to let her watch anymore of it, then. I turned off the television. "Are you ready for your gummies?" (Vitamins, but they are a special treat because she can only have one per day).
"Yes, please!" She hops off the chair and heads upstairs. Halfway up, she remembers she's mad and stomps the rest of the way up.
Ok, I think. She's angry, but still doing what I want. This is good, but maybe we can do better.
I stomp after her. "Oh, that's great stomping! I'm gonna stomp, too! Stomping is so much fun."
Lil' Bit stopped stomping and turned around to look at me with another glare. I cheerfully got her her gummy and some crackers for the car rise, and she happily walked out to the garage, got buckled in, and we left.
Part way there, she starts telling me that the trees are making faces at her. I told her to smile at them. She said, "No. They have to smile at me first." I said, "Well, I'm going to smile at them anyway. They can't being me down. I can be happy no matter what the trees do. Haha trees! You can't bring me down. I'm gonna smile at you even if you don't smile back."
After about 30 seconds, Lil' Bit says, "Mommy! I smiled at the trees, and they smiled back."
"Oh good. Your smile always makes me happy. I'm glad it made the trees happy, too." Te remainder of the drive and drop-off had happy Lil' Bit. Yay!
Phew!! I'm really glad I used non-engagement and redirection to get us through to a fairly happy morning without the drama from yesterday. Still, I'm a little afraid of what she's going to try tomorrow.
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