Today I went out to lunch with two of my good friends. We used to all work together, but now that we all work different places, although we're all still downtown, we have a standing date for lunch together once a month. Today's lunch was different for me, however, because in between our last lunch and this one, I had both gotten pregnant and then lost Oliver. I had emailed them when I got the good news, and Facebook provided them with my grief, but I never got to share my brief joy with them personally. We talked about many things and I managed not to cry when I answered their questions and told them what had happened. And I had pie, which almost always makes me feel better. As we were heading our separate ways, we talked about wanting to go on runs together and making plans to try and do a 5k together sometime.
Many moons ago when I lived in Texas, I would run/walk a 5k every weekend. I did a few after I moved to Michigan and even managed to complete three half-marathons while I've been here. But I haven't done anything like that recently. Today I was reminded that running makes me feel better--this was even easier to remember given how beautiful the weather was. Anyway, I was also aware that I had put on a fair amount of weight eating things like pie, biscuits, jellybeans, m&ms, and various other comfort foods to make myself feel better. So, tonight I bit the bullet and got back on the treadmill. I only walked 1.25 miles, but I also walked to and from lunch today which was about 1.5 miles round trip, so I totaled 2.75. Go me!
Walking on the treadmill is not terribly interesting, however, so I use my portable DVD player to either watch movies or hook up my iPod for some tunes. Because I had just swapped out my VHS copy for a DVD (I hear you snickering), I decided to watch Prince of Egypt. I LOVE that movie; especially the music. I haven't finished it yet (because I didn't walk long enough for that), but I did learn a few things during the parts I watched.
1) The music is still amazing.
2) Watching that movie as a parent is an entirely different experience.
3) I cannot imagine having the strength or courage or living with the angst of placing my child in the river and leaving its existence to God.
4) I totally get why a woman pulling a baby out of a basket in the water would want to keep it and raise it because I understand how you can love a baby from the moment you pick it up and never want to let it go.
5) I cannot fathom the mental disconnect it takes for anyone, pharaoh or otherwise, to decide that killing children is okay because the children are slaves, or a different race, or the wrong gender.
I knew that being a parent would change my life, but I find myself discovering almost daily that there are so many more ways in which being a parent has reshaped or altered experiences that I thought would remain fixed. What new lessons or experiences will I get from other pieces of the movie? Only the shadow knows... Well, okay, maybe not. But, it does create an interesting incentive to keep on working that treadmill. And, hey, there's the added bonus of getting back into shape in case we decide we want to try again. Funny how that works.