Cautious Optimism

It's been a roller-coaster ride these last few days. Up until last Sunday, I was convinced that the IVF had worked. Once Sunday arrived, I began to have doubts. Come Monday morning, I woke up convinced it was going to be negative. I ended up deciding to work from home and had Phil take me to the blood draw because I couldn't concentrate enough to drive. The lady at the lab gave me a phone number I could call within 4 hours for the results if I didn't want to wait for the clinic to call. Although I seriously considered calling, I ultimately waited for the clinic's call, because the lab could only tell me the HCG number. The clinic would tell me what it meant. Monday afternoon dragged and, at 3:30 p.m., the phone finally rang. Good news--my HCG was 22.6 (anything over 10 was positive for pregnancy). Yay! So, the next step was to wait until Wednesday and have a second beta test done. The goal was to see the number double. Namely, we're looking for a 45. We were very excited, but decided we would wait to say anything to most folks, although we emailed family with the results. We went out to dinner to celebrate and it was sinking in. I was *finally* pregnant. The elation didn't last.

Around 8:00 p.m., I noticed that I had begun spotting and cramping. I will spare you the exact details, but it was a complete downer. I had just learned I'm pregnant and a few hours later might be losing it?! I freaked. I frantically Googled the internet looking for some solace. I found some reassuring words. Apparently spotting can be perfectly normal and, rather common for IVFers. Whew! Still, I wasn't totally convinced. The problem was, there was nothing to do but wait for today's second beta test.

This morning I had my second beta. I was not nearly as patient this time--I called the lab for my results rather than waiting for the clinic. 53.6! I had more than doubled in 48 hours. Yay! This was good news. I called Phil to share. We agreed that at this point we were willing to share the news and posted our agreed-upon Facebook status updates (a simple +). I waited for the clinic to call with the official word. The nurse finally called and advised that they were pleased by my beta and I was to continue my shots and other meds. We discussed the spotting and she indicated that it was likely nothing to worry about, but they would order another beta test for Friday just to make sure. So, we are cautiously optimistic.

Friday, I'll have a third beta--the magic number we're looking for is 108 or higher. Provided we get positive news, we'll have our first ultrasound on March 29. For now, I'm reveling in the fact that, for the first time EVER, I'm officially pregnant. That, in and of itself, is a miracle. And I am so grateful.