Added Degree of Difficulty

Back before they changed the scoring system in the Olympics, there was a phrase that was tossed around by the commentators a great deal--"That's an added degree of difficulty."  It was a reference to when a dive or gymnastics routine had a particular start value, but because the athlete had added a few extra twists or whatever, it now had a higher total value because those moves represented "an added degree of difficulty."

We use this phrase around our house a lot.  Anytime something is harder than usual for some reason, we say it's got an added degree of difficulty.  Now, having children is always an added degree of difficulty.  But sometimes, like the last few days, my child's medical needs (also an added degree of difficulty) give her an extra added degree of difficulty.  See, for the last few days, Lil' Bit has been sick.  Nothing outrageous, just the usual: green snot, rattly cough, and some vomiting.

Ah, but there's the rub.  Vomiting.  See, since she has to take her meds six times a day (plus now an antibiotic on top of that), and they have to stay down 20 minutes for it to be considered a dose, vomiting causes a big problem.  Ultimately, if she can't keep her meds down, then we have to take her to the ER because she has to have her meds.  Furthermore, because we have to tell the pharmacy how many pills we have left before we can get a refill, I freak out when we have to give a second dose because I know we are now short some pills and worry about whether the pharmacy is going to start giving me crap about it.

So, needless to say, I have spent the past two days totally freaked out.  Fortunately, there is a wonderful medicine that helps control the vomiting, so we were able to get things under control and get Lil' Bit all of her meds without a trip to the hospital--just the urgent care.  Still, I hate that even the simple problems of childhood sometimes become a much bigger issue because of her health condition.

On the plus side, however, we are getting much better at all of this stuff.  We call it being stronger players.  It's our paraphrase of a line from the movie Searching For Bobby Fischer, where one kid tells another, "You're a much stronger player than I was at your age."  Anytime we manage to do something that would have overwhelmed us previously, we say, "You're a much stronger player," or "You're playing at a higher level."  It's our way of recognizing how far we've come.  And, although I still get freaked out and cry at the notion of having to take Lil' Bit back to the hospital for something simple and "normal" like vomiting, I have learned how to handle things calmly until the worst is over and *then* fall apart where she can't see me, so I don't make her more anxious.

Sometimes, I think back to when I was a new parent and got overwhelmed at the smallest thing.  The challenges we face today would have seemed insurmountable to the me back then.  Now, I can take things that used to terrify me in stride.  I'm pleased to discover I am capable, but sometimes, I wish I didn't have to learn just how capable I am.