More Than a Mommy

Several years ago, before becoming a mom, before my blog, before we even discovered we would need to consider IVF, I started a novel.  I was being diligent and required myself to average 300 words per day over the course of a week.  Sometimes, I would manage to write 1000 in a sitting and give myself two days off.  Other times, it was difficult to slog through to get my 300, but I was more or less consistent, and did a decent job keeping with my allotted pace.  Then life happened.  Things fell by the wayside and I stopped working on it. My good friend, who I had asked to read it, would gently, or sometimes not so gently, ask me when I would have more since she wanted to know what happened next.  But, somehow, I never got back to it.  She was quite understanding about the whole thing and gave me lots of time after Lil' Bit was born before asking again when I was going to write something.  I tried multiple times to get started, but I just couldn't get back into it.  So, like all the other times, I let it drop.

Last Sunday, she said something to me about it again.  This time, I think I was ready to hear it because I got back to it.  Really got back to it.  I have been working diligently this week and, in 4 days, I have written over 2500 words.  And, today, I finally crossed the 40,000 word threshold--the roughly half-way mark.  Yay!  I am extremely proud of myself.  But I found myself wondering one morning this week, why now?  What was the difference?  Is it because we finally have something resembling a routine where I have time to blog and write?  Yes, in part.  But I've had that for a while.  Was it because she mentioned it?  Sure, that's part of it, too.  But I honestly think what really made the change was something I was thinking about last week before she said anything.  I was thinking about the fact that I am more than a mom.  I know it doesn't seem like it.  Sure, when I talk to people at work, all I ever talk about is mom things.  And when I'm at home, most of what I do is mom stuff.  But, that is the nature of having a 14-month-old.  Nevertheless, I have to remember to take time out from being a mom to also be a wife to Phil and to exercise self-care.  And, one of the things that is self-care for me is writing.  It's why I love my job so much--I get to write every day!  [Phil says I do homework for a living, but homework was never as much fun as my job.  But I digress...]

So, as I work to remember who I am, I am trying to remember that, although she takes up huge portions of my time, energy, and income, I am more than Lil' Bit's mom (although that is likely my moniker for the next 18 years).  And, in an effort to keep remembering that I am more than a mommy, I have set myself the goal of having a completed rough draft by August of this year, so I can take it to Gen Con and get feedback from some folks at the Writer's Symposium there.  Today, I am working toward reclaiming myself as a whole--whether as wife, writer, attorney, or mom.